____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
