If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
