if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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