I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
