Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize
