Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I just want to make out with him forever
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
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