Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
