homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
