That's intense
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize
