Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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