I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
