Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
