The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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