fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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