I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Randomize
