i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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