i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
