your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
