walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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