I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
