it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
