It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Drunk is a universal language darling
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