I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
