why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
