In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
