Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
