Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
