the day after is always just damage control
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
