oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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