If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
He told me they were just razor bumps!
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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