...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
