He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
