Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize