So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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