he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I wish you could order shots online.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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