Where is the hickey?
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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