I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
