Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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