There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
