i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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