Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
