She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
