we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
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