I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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