More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
