Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
