every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
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