I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
