ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
operation harelip BJ is a go
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
