i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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