If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Randomize
