Are we in a gay sports bar?
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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