she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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