My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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