How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
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