I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize