She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
My ass is underappreciated
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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