did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
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