I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
you guys were way drunker than both of me
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Randomize
